"The Twilight Saga: New Moon" - ...still no comment

The Twilight Saga: New Moon is the sequel to the original Twilight from 2008, also based on the book by Stephanie Meyer. The Cullens move away from Bella Swan (Kristin Stewart) because of fear of looking too young, and in turn, Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) breaks up with her. Thus, her only shoulder to cry on his her childhood friend, Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), whom we discover is really a werewolf. However, she still hallucinates about Edward, generally if she's about to do something that could kill her. Meanwhile, the Volturi want revenge on the Cullens, and they think that they should first go after the now-vulnerable Bella. Jacob summons some vampire allies to deal with the Volturi, but who will prevail? And will Bella ever get over Edward?

So I rewatched the original Twilight recently... I know I said before that I thought it was mediocre, but after watching it all in one sitting, I realized that it is a lot worse than I initially suspected. It basically is a 2-hour pilot episode where nothing happens, Kristin Stewart can't act, and does nothing but fawn over Edward who does all the work - a large example of anti-feminism (and I'm the one who watches/reads Sex and the City and the Shopaholic series) and quite possibly the greatest example of anti-feminism I've seen or heard of in a film besides Showgirls (which I will NEVER, EVER watch). Fortunately, that doesn't seem to be entirely the case with New Moon, which I did see all of in one sitting, but on the other hand, I'm not sure if that was the film talking or the fact that I first saw the film at something I felt like I earned... I really shouldn't discuss it in public, contact me privately for more info. Anyway, I was sitting with my friends in said screening and we were pretty much on rapid-fire, making fun of it, mostly during silent moments, which there were a lot of. (Though I think it was sort of unneeded when I heard a giggle when Bella said "I want to come!" and Edward said "I can't let you come!" Then again, so was my reference to "Who Let the Dogs Out?" by the Baha Men when Jessica was referring to Jacob as a dog and told Bella to let him out of her life.) I admit, I was intrigued by the trailer because it looked like there would be more action and fighting in this one, and there was, but not that much. I'll say there was more fighting elicited by the storyline, and more stuff did happen in it, but it's really not all that great. I'll give it this, though - there was less anti-feminism, but one reason is a spoiler. Nonetheless, her reaction and hallucinations when Edward leaves could be viewed as anti-feminism. I am still looking forward to The Twilight Saga: Eclipse coming June 30, 2010 (which they advertise during the closing credits), because I have heard as the series progresses, Bella becomes more independent, but still, I feel like I'm the only middle ground for this series... everyone else seems to either love it with great passion, or hate it with a burning passion.

The film got a PG-13 rating... same kind of violence as the first one had... Jacob as a werewolf and his werewolf clan fighting off the Volturi, Bella fakes suicide and does several risky activities such as a motorcycle that she falls off of (some of it has blood). Nothing really sexy, but Jacob and Edward are often seen shirtless. No big swears, and a few beers (and a goblet in a painting).

While I think it would make a good rental, especially if you have a RiffTrax or can make your own, my opinion probably means nothing - you're either going to see it or avoid it like the plague.

"The Box" - more complicated than its title

The Box is a thriller/horror film based on the 1970 short story Button, Button by Richard Matheson, notably redone as an episode of the 1985 series The Twilight Zone. It centers around Norma Lewis (Cameron Diaz, There's Something About Mary, The Mask, Being John Malkovich, What Happens in Vegas, My Sister's Keeper and the upcoming The Green Hornet) and her husband Arthur Lewis (James Marsden, X-Men films, Superman Returns, Hairspray, Enchanted, 27 Dresses), who live in Richmond, Virginia in 1976. Norma is a teacher, and Arthur works for NASA, but they pretty much live paycheck-to-paycheck, and Norma is worried about them losing their house. Then one day, a stranger named Arlington Steward (Frank Langella, Superman Returns, The Mask of Zorro, Masters of the Universe, Frost/Nixon) presents them with a button. Pressing the button will cause someone they don't know to die, but will reward them with one million dollars in cash so long as they don't tell anyone about this. Regardless of their choice, the button will be reprogrammed and the offer will be made to someone they don't know. Believing this to be a far fetched tale, they decide to press the button. They receive the money, but when they hear that someone was shot, Arthur does not trust Arlington and reports his license plate number to the police. Arlington then wreaks havoc on their lives via his "employees".

Sam Oz Stone also stars as Walter Lewis, the son of Norma and Arthur. Gillian Jacobs (Community) plays his babysitter Dana.

What I wrote is simply the basic premise of the story. The short story and the Twilight Zone episode derived from it did not have anything to do with "employees", or reporting of a license plate. In the original creations of this story, they press the button, get the money, and it ends with the button will be reprogrammed and sent to "someone else they don't know" and it ends with Norma and Arthur being paranoid that they will be next to die. The paranoia carries over into The Box, but this time they try to do something about it. The film is nearly 2 hours and 30 minutes long, directed by Kelly Richard, the director of Donnie Darko. Some say it is unnecessarily convoluted and takes a simple concept and blows it out of proportion, but I think the opposite. I think being convoluted in this case was necessary. In the original creations, they simply accepted the button with no questions asked. In The Box, when they received the button, Arlington mentioned that the deal is off if they report them to the police, which Arthur considered doing, and when he did later, Arlington made them pay for it. I also liked how it all came together in the end, and it wasn't predictable at all. I won't spoil that part, though.

The film scored a well-deserved PG-13 rating. Of course, the main factor is violence and scary stuff, of note being Arlington's face - half of his face has been so severely burnt you can see a portion of his teeth on one side. Norma also reveals that she dropped a barbell on her foot, and lost four of her toes. When Norma presses the button, the victim is seen on the news: we see a woman who was killed in a gunshot (a bit of blood) and her husband, and their daughter was locked in a bathroom. Several people Norma and Arthur come into contact with (not physical contact) have nosebleeds. Arthur is forced to choose three "pathways" (which seem to be him stepping into large rectangles of water), two of which will lead to eternal damnation (as will his refusal) and the other one will lead to freedom - he chooses right, but he appears over the bed in the water rectangle - the house is flooded. Norma and Arthur drive down the road to see a Santa Claus ringing a bell - they stop for him and are hit by a truck. Walter is locked in the bathroom, blind and deaf. Arlington offers Norma and Arthur one more chance - he says they can either leave things the way they are, or Arthur can shoot Norma in the heart (Norma wants to shoot herself, but Arlington says there are no negotiations), which will save Walter and the money they won will be transferred to a bank account to be available to him when he turns 18 (I won't tell you what they choose). There is heavy alcohol consumption, but it's all legal. I heard one s-word, but there's also name-calling in the beginning - Norma says goodbye to her son, whose friends call her "old". She says that she's only 35, and they say something like "You're a geezer to us!" As for sexual content, someone was called a "slut who marries for money", and at a party, Arthur chooses a present which turns out to be a photo. He and Norma don't want to show it to anyone, and some of the partygoes say "They must be private photos" or something like that. (I heard there was a sex scene that was removed in the theatrical cut so the film could receive a PG-13 rating, but I have no proof of that besides Wikipedia.)

Well, there you have it. If you can't sit through a 2 hour and 30 minute film, then don't see it. If you can, then it is probably for you, if you like convoluted adventures. I know I do.

Introducing a new feature: Box office weekends

I'd been planning this for my blog for awhile, but... each weekend, I have decided to report the box office totals for the weekend. Most of my info comes from boxofficemojo.com, but I'll add a bit of commentary. The way I start is I describe the top 5 films for the weekend: How much they made this weekend, how much they dropped from last weekend, their grand domestic totals so far, and other commentary if I feel like it. For example:

During the weekend of November 13-15, 2009, 2012 took the #1 spot at the box office with approximately $65,000,000. Currently, it is the seventh-highest opening of 2009, behind Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen ($109 million), X-Men Origins: Wolverine ($85 million), Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince ($78 million), Star Trek ($75 million), Fast & Furious ($71 million), and Up ($68 million). However, it won't last long, with The Twilight Saga: New Moon coming next weekend. However, it is also #7 in November debuts behind Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005, $103 million), Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone (2001, $90 million), Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002, $88 million), The Incredibles (2004, $70 million), Twilight (2008, $69.5 million), and Quantum of Solace (2008, $67.5 million).

Dropping 25.7% from last weekend is A Christmas Carol, coming it at approximately $22.3 million with approximately $63.3 million so far. It's still a tough bet if it's going to surpass its $200 million budget, but Christmas movies tend not to lose much of their audience during the holiday season. It won't lose its 3-D venues until December 18 when Avatar comes out, so it has a chance to surpass its budget by then.

Holding onto 3rd place from last weekend is The Men Who Stare at Goats, taking a 51.2% drop with a weekend gross of approximately $6.2 million, and a total of $23.4 million so far. Chances are by next weekend it will surpass its $25 million budget

Skyrocketing up to 4th place, still in limited release, is Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire. Expanding to 174 theaters this weekend, Precious took in approximately $6 million with a total of $8.9 million so far and a $35,000 per theater average. I have been unable to review Precious since it's not playing at my local theater, but there is a great chance it will arrive next weekend.

Rounding out the top 5 is Michael Jackson's This is It, dropping 61.2% with a total of $5.1 million this weekend, and approximately $68.2 million so farm, outgrossing Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert (2008)'s $65.3 million and becoming the top domestic concert film of all time.

If any films didn't open in the top 5, then I'll discuss them here. This also includes notable limited releases, such as ones that will expand later. For instance:

Also opening this weekend is Pirate Radio, opening with only $2.8 million at #11. While that may not seem like a huge haul, remember that Pirate Radio only opened at 882 sites, the second lowest of the top 12 behind Precious. Therefore, it pulled in $3,252 per theater, the fourth highest of the top 12 behind Precious ($35,000), 2012 ($19,095), and A Christmas Carol ($6,062). As well, it has already opened in the UK (under the name The Boat That Rocked, where it has grossed a total of $28.2 million USD, for a worldwide total of $31.1 million

Opening in limited release is Fantastic Mr. Fox at 4 sites, coming in at #22 with $260,000 total and $65,000 per theater.

Then I give the listings for the top 12, and describe what's no longer there:

1. 2012

2. A Christmas Carol

3. The Men Who Stare at Goats

4. Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire

5. Michael Jackson's This Is It

6. The Fourth Kind

7. Couples Retreat

8. Paranormal Activity

9. Law Abiding Citizen

10. The Box

11. Pirate Radio

12. Where the Wild Things Are

Out of the top 12 this weekend is Astro Boy (#13) and Saw VI (#19).

Then I close it off with a message.

I'll give another update next weekend when Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire expands wide as well as the openings of The Blind Side, Planet 51, and The Twilight Saga: New Moon.

Source: http://boxofficemojo.com/weekend/chart/?yr=2009&wknd=46&p=.htm

"Twilight" - no comment on it whatsoever

Please note that I am reviewing this from a DVD. I did not and probably will not be able to see it on the big screen.

Twilight (2008) is a romantic fantasy film based on the Stephanie Meyer novel of the same name. It is part of a series of novels known as "The Twilight Saga". Seventeen-year-old Isabella "Bella" Swan (Kristin Stewart) moves from Phoenix, Arizona to the town of Forks, Washington to be with her single dad Police Chief Charlie Swan (Billy Burke), as her mother Renee (Sarah Clarke) is remarrying and going on the road. There, Bella is introduced and welcomed by the students at the new school, and she learns about the mysterious Cullen family, namely Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), who is 108 years old but looks 17. This is because he is really a vampire - he is stuck at the age that he transformed at. Edward is attracted to Bella by the scent of her blood, as well as her resistance to his ability to read minds. However, these vampires only drink animal blood. Despite Edward's warnings to stay away from him, Bella does not listen, causing her to be targeted by James the tracker vampire (Cam Gigadent) and the other two members of his "trio", Victoria (Rachelle Lefèvre) and Laurent (Edi Gathegi), who do drink human blood.

Of note is also Edward's family, all of whom are vampires: his father Carlisle Cullen (Peter Facinelli), his mother Esme Cullen (Elizabeth Reaser), his adopted sisters Alice Brandon Cullen (Ashley Greene) and Rosalie Hale (Nikki Reed) as well as the latter's husband Emmett Cullen (Kellan Lutz), and their newest addition, his adopted brother Jasper Hale (Jackson Rathbone). Taylor Lautner plays Jacob Black, Bella's childhood friend.

So... did anyone else understand that? I haven't read the books, so that may be part of the reason still sorta seems confusing to me, but I don't have many plans to read them. So... why did I watch this film, and why am I reviewing it? Well, I didn't know what Twilight was until late 2008 when this film was released. I never actually bothered to watch it, but I'd heard everyone talk about it, to the point where it was the new Harry Potter. However, I wasn't really interested in it because all I had heard about it was "it's about sparkling vampires", which sounded preposterous to me - however, it turns out that the Cullens sparkle when exposed to sunlight, and Edward did sparkle, but for no more than two minutes (to reveal his secret to Bella). However, I saw Adventureland in April of this year, which starred Kristin Stewart (turns out she actually did this film prior to the filming to Twilight), and got slightly interested in it. However, I was sort of afraid of it, partially due to vampire stories being associated with "emo" people (still not quite sure what that means) and hearing about a girl who nearly drowned a fifth grader to death because she insulted the books. However, after seeing the trailer for the next film in the series, The Twilight Saga: New Moon (coming November 20), I was somewhat interested in it. The final nail in the coffin was when I heard the original Twilight was coming back to the big screen November 19 at 9:00 PM for a discounted price ($5.00, three hours before the midnight premiere of The Twilight Saga: New Moon), and since I did review Toy Story and Toy Story 2 when they were re-released, I decided to review this too. Now, I was dreading it as I was watching it, but it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. It's nothing I'd pay big bucks for, and unfortunately I probably won't be able to catch the big screen showing of it (I have a class at that time, and it will probably sell out), but I was glad I saw it. Now I understand what all the hub-ub is all about... oh wait, no I don't! It sorta seemed like a pilot episode, waiting for the sequel... which I am now semi-excited about.

The film got a PG-13 rating, but I'm sure you already know of the kind of violence that can occur in a vampire-themed film. As well, a truck almost hits Bella, and Edward stops the truck with his bare hand. There is a large action scene on the end with chasing and James bites Bella, and you later see her in a hospital bed, but for spoiler purposes I won't explain any more. A vampire drinks a deer's blood in one scene. Several prom dresses show cleavage, and when two girls try on such dresses, one of them says something like "Does this make my boobs look good?". One of the minds Edward reads is about "sex". Renee asks Bella on the phone if she met a boy and if she's "safe" (you figure it out). There is a moderate amount of drinking, but no teen drinking. However, Edward says that Bella's blood is like "a brand of heroin".

This whole review was probably irrelevant to you, and you probably already know if you want to see it or not. However, I think the re-release is a good way to get new people into it - seeing it on the big screen may be enticing, and for a discounted ticket price it's a good deal. Of course, even if you already own the DVD, you may just want to relive seeing it on the big screen again for half price, so you could see it then. The film is two hours long, so that gives you an hour to prepare for the midnight showing of The Twilight Saga: New Moon, if it leaves you thirsty for more. My question is... why didn't Disney think of this with the Toy Story re-release? Why did they re-release it so early? They could have waited two weeks before Toy Story 3 comes out and re-released it then! Then there would have been more hype! (I heard some places have already sold out of this Twilight re-release in advance, but on the other hand, it's just one chance.)

(Pssst... Disney... pay attention and learn something from this! Re-release Cars in 3-D one or two weeks before Cars 2 comes out in 2011. It will make lots of money. )

"The Fourth Kind" - perhaps the most realistic horror movie ever, since it's based on true events... or is it?

The Fourth Kind is a horror film supposedly based on actual case studies. It takes place in Nome, Alaska, where me meet Dr. Abigail Tyler (Milla Jovovich, Resident Evil, Zoolander, A Perfect Getaway), a psychologist whose husband recently died. She and some of her clients, namely Scott Stracinsky (Enzo Cilenti) and Tommy (Corey Johnson, The Bourne Ultimatum, Saving Private Ryan, The Mummy, Hellboy) report some strange disturbances, some of which involve a strange-looking owl. Sometime later, her daughter, Ashley Tyler (Mia McKenna Bruce, EastEnders) has been seemingly kidnapped! Abigail believes that she saw her being abducted by strange beings, but will just anyone believe her story?

Also staring in this film is Elias Koteas (The Haunting in Connecticut, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles I and III, and the upcoming Shutter Island) as Dr. Abel Campos (alias, the real doctor didn't want his real name in this film), Abigail's shrink.

Okay, forget what I said about Paranormal Activity (I think I said something inaccurate about it, as a comment suggests), this is the most realistic horror film I've ever seen. Some of the original footage of Abigail Tyler is used, being played next to footage of Milla Jovovich. (At the beginning of the film, Milla says that it is real, and to believe what you want.) However, I don't think that was the best way to go about it, they should have just used the original footage and used Milla Jovovich to fill in the gaps. Words onscreen note when the audio is real. I thought the film was interesting, but I'm not sure if all of it was real. Parts of it actually made me cry - for instance, when Abigail Tyler reports her lost daughter, she loses custody of her son, which was pretty much the last thing she needed at that time. Any more discussion would result in spoilers.

The film scored a PG-13, and I feel it deserved it. As typical in a horror film, violence is most prominent: her husband was stabbed to death (we don't see the actual stabbing, but we see blood). In one of the audio samples (claimed to be real), we hear gunshots and a woman screaming and crying, later learning that the gunshots came from the woman's husband. There is a lot of twitching and screaming in hypnosis caused by Dr. Abel Campos, and while not everything is explained, it's implied she is witnessing something violent. As for sexuality... well, it is said that her husband was stabbed during sex (we don't even see any nudity though). There are a few s-words, said in anger, frustration, and utter grief. There is only one scene with wine.

If you like horror movies where monsters and demons pop out of every corner, this isn't for you. It's played like a documentary, so think about that before you go see it. And stay tuned during the closing credits for some other peoples' claims of supernatural sightings.

"The Men Who Stare at Goats" - though they don't actually stare at goats until about an hour into the film, and only for a few minutes

The Men Who Stare at Goats is a based on the 2004 novel of the same name by Jon Ronson. Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor), Gus Lacey (Stephen Root), Lyn Cassady (George Clooney), and Bill Django (Jeff Bridges) are all army men during the 2003 war in Iraq, but they don't fight for the same reasons the other soldiers do - they practice psychic "Jedi" powers, and they seem to promote peace rather than fighting. Their idea of "fighting" is to capture Iraqi soldiers and force them to watch or listen to Barney & Friends music, and they test their psychic powers by staring at goats to try to weaken or kill them.

Hmmm, that seemed a little shorter than most of my synopses... well, that's about all there is to it. There really is no plot to this film. It just seems like a bunch of skits strung together for comedy purposes. That's not saying it's not funny, but I don't want to give away too many of the funny parts. There seems to be a subplot about Larry Hooper (Kevin Spacey) being jealous of Lyn's ability to "stare at goats", but again, that's all I can say without spoiling, and it's really not much anyway because the only "goat-staring" takes place about an hour into the film and only lasts a few minutes.

The film scored an R rating, mostly for drug use. There is a lot of LSD and many drug references in this film, and many of the soldiers believe that drugs and alcohol are useful in battle. There's also a bit of violence, as you'd expect in a film about soldiers, but it's mostly for comedy. There's the aforementioned "goat staring" scene, people try to walk through walls and hit them instead, and just war explosions. There are guns and knives, which are used for threatening purposes, but not always for attacking (except the "death touch" which takes years to work). The only sexual content is a hot-tub with women where we briefly see bare breasts and someone saying something about "having sex with Bart Simpson and Burt Reynolds".

If you just want to sit back and laugh at a film, or you believe in army men promoting peace instead of war, then by all means watch this film. If you want plot, then stay away.

"Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant"... more like "Characterization: The Sequel's Assistant"

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant is a film adaptation of the first three books of "The Saga of Darren Shan" by Darren Shan, also known as the "Vampire Blood" trilogy, consisting of Cirque du Freak, The Vampire's Assistant, and Tunnels of Blood (all published in 2000). 16-year-old Darren Shan (Chris Massoglia, A Plumm Summer) is a very well-behaved boy who gets good grades and generally stays out of trouble, until he starts hanging out with Steve "Leopard" Leonard (Josh Hutcherson, Bridge to Teribithia, Journey to the Center of the Earth, The Polar Express). The two boys sneak off to the vampire show, Cirque du Freak. After seeing a bunch of freaks, they are introduced to the leader of the show, Larten Crepsley (John C. Reilly, Step Brothers, Talladega Nights: The Legend of Ricky Bobby, 9, Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!). Steve wants to become a vampire, but Crepsley refuses, and Darren steals the spider Madam Octa. Octa bites Steve, poisoning him. Crepsley will not provide an antidote unless Darren becomes his assistant. However, this requires Darren to become a vampire, meaning he can no longer walk into sunlight, and like all other vampires, must feed off human blood to survive. Darren reluctantly accepts, but during a fight with vampaneze (vampire enemies), and his refusal to drink blood, what will become of him? And what is going on between the vampires and the vampaneze? In a subplot, an unknown species Desmond Tiny (Michael Cerveris, Fringe) and his vampaneze henchman Murlaugh (Ray Stevenson, Punisher: War Zone, King Arthur) want Darren for themselves.

Other members of the Cirque du Freak show include Ken Watanabe (Letters from Iwo Jima, The Last Samurai, Memoirs of a Geisha, Batman Begins) as Hibernius Tall, the manager who can read people's minds, Patrick Fugit (Almost Famous) as Evra Von the Snake Boy, Frankie Faison (Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns, Hannibal Lecter films, etc.) as Rhamus Twobellies, whom, as the name implies, has two bellies and can eat most anything, Jane Krakowski (National Lampoon's Vacation, Ally McBeal, 30 Rock, The Flinstones in Viva Rock Vegas, Kit Kittredge: An American Girl, etc.) as Corma Limbs, who can regenerate broken limbs, Orlando Jones (MADtv, Office Space, and the former 7-Up spokesman) as Alexander Ribs, whose spine is extremely thin, Salma Hayek (Dogma, Wild Wild West, Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over, The Sinbad Show) as a woman who can grow a beard (and Crepsley's love interest), and Jessica Carlson as Rebecca, Darren's love interest (her freak ability may be a spoiler).

This is actually a very interesting franchise. I've never read the books, but I would like too. Before seeing the film, I had heard that it seemed like a 90-minute pilot episode just waiting for a sequel, though that's not exactly true. In its own way, it does leave room for a sequel, but it's like the characterization jumps around. You first see some characterization of Darren and Steve, then the plot thickens as they go to the vampire show, then the vampires and vampaneze are characterized as Steve and Darren develop more, then some more plot. I'll say if they make a sequel, I will definitely watch it, but judging by the film's box office gross (approximately $11.8 million in two weeks, with a $40 million budget) it's not likely that the next saga (the Vampire Rites saga, where Darren learns about the vampire clan and seeks acceptance) will be adapted, and even if it does, it may just be released direct-to-DVD, unless the film is a foreign success.

The film got a well-deserved PG-13 rating. As you'd expect from a film about vampires, the biggest thing would be violence, since vampires feed off other humans' blood to survive. Corma also breaks off her fingers and she and Alexander Ribs eat it from each side until they kiss (possibly an allusion to the spaghetti scene in Lady and the Tramp). But don't forget - Corma can regenerate broken limbs, so she's okay. Darren's teacher scratches the chalkboard with his nails, then later vampire Darren does, destroying the chalkboard. Before Madame Octa bites Steve, he tries to squash her. There is a lot of vampire fighting, but it's too cool to spoil. Rebecca offers Darren her blood, and he reluctantly accepts (we don't see all of him drinking her blood). As for sexual content, Madame Truska shows a lot of cleavage, as does someone in the audience (who has a butterfly tattoo on her cleavage). As usual in a PG-13 film, there is a lot of social drinking, but the reason Steve is so misbehaved is because his mom is always drunk and he hasn't seen his dad in ages, so he hates his life.

I would recommend this film to any fan of John C. Reilly, or of the books, or of vampire stories in general. I can already say this is no Twilight (though I've never actually seen or read Twilight, and I'm not sure if I want to). However, if you'd rather all the characterization at the beginning, or something that doesn't seem like build-up for a sequel, or you're just plain sick of vampire stories, then just skip it. Don't worry so much about the freaks if it sounds gross, they don't get that much screentime.

"Astro Boy" - doesn't break any new ground, but that's not necessarily a bad thing... heck in some cases it's for the better

Astro Boy is an American film adaptation of Osama Tezuka's Japanese manga/anime franchise of the same name. Toby Tenma (Freddie Highmore, The Spiderwick Chronicles, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Golden Compass) lives in the floating town of Metro City with his father Dr. Tenma (Nicolas Cage, Knowing, G-Force, Bangkok Dangerous, National Treasure: Book of Secrets) who works for the Ministry of Science, alongside Dr. Elefun (Bill Nighy, Hot Fuzz, G-Force, Pirates of the Caribbean, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, and the upcoming Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows). Toby is accidentally killed during the testing of an invention, but is re-created as a robot. However, Tenma is displeased as he feels this creation cannot replace his son. Toby runs away from home and winds up on the surface world, where he is greeted by the Robot Revolutionary Front, consisting of Sparx (Matt Lucas, Little Britain), Robotski (Bill Nighy), and Mike the Fridge (David Bowers, Flushed Away, as well as the director of both films) who dub him, "Astro Boy". He is later found by some humans, including Cora (Kristen Bell, Couples Retreat, Fanboys, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Veronica Mars, Gossip Girl, and the upcoming When in Rome), Zane (Moisés Arias, Hannah Montana, Nacho Libre, Beethoven's Big Break, Dadnapped), and Grace (Madeline Caroll, Swing Vote, and the upcoming The Spy Next Door), who take him to their friend Hamegg (Nathan Lane, The Producers, The Lion King, Swing Vote) who used to work for the Ministry of Science. "Astro Boy" thinks he belongs here, but what happens when he finds out that Hamegg runs a robot gladiator-style arena? And in a subplot, President Stone (Donald Sutherland, Dirty Sexy Money, Pride & Prejudice) is unleashing his robotic creation, "The Peacekeeper" (which accidentally killed Toby), but what is really going on?

Samuel L. Jackson (Snakes on a Plane, Pulp Fiction, Lakeview Terrace, Soul Men, the Star Wars prequels, the upcoming Iron Man 2, etc.) also stars as Zog, a robot Astro brings back to life, and Eugene Levy (American Pie, Taking Woodstock, etc.) stars as Orrin, the Tenma residence's cleaner robot.

Astro Boy has quite a history in Japan and in the USA, appearing in a Japanese manga that was adapted into a television series in the 1960s, then later in the 1980s, and most recently in 2003 (was seen in the USA on the now-defunct Kids' WB! network). For the most part, the film stayed true to all of the Astro Boy media, except for making Astro embarrassed about being a robot (in other Astro Boy media, robots and humans live peacefully side-by-side, though that may just be in Metro City and not the rest of the world) and making Astro fight robots in Hamegg's tournament (in other media, he'd never do that unless it was self-defense or to protect someone, unless it was for slapstick comedy purposes). But hey, I don't write reviews to nag about faithfulness, I write reviews to rate films as standalone. Now I don't really remember the old Astro Boy series that well, but I remember the '03 one quite well. And honestly, this film doesn't seem to break much new ground, as the ending seems to show (I still won't spoil it though). Nonetheless, it is quite enjoyable.

The film scored a PG rating. There's really not much besides violence, though there is a scene on a beach with a girl in a bikini, and Astro's rocket boots tan her. I won't describe all the violence, especially since part of it is a spoiler, but here are the main highlights: The Peacekeeper kills Toby, but we don't see it on screen. Astro flies around Metro City and causes a lot of destruction, and even more when Tenma and Stone try to catch him, shooting at him, and he falls to the surface. The orphans chase each other with chainsaws, Hamegg zaps Astro (to reveal that he's a robot), and Astro competes in Hamegg's robot-fighting gladiator tournament... until Zog and Astro are pitted against each other. They refuse to fight, and after getting zapped by Hamegg, Zog almost steps on him... but Astro holds back his foot. Last, but not least, there's Astro's battle with The Peacekeeper, which I won't tell you how it ends, but again, I'll bring up some highlights: The Peacekeeper absorbs anything he touches, becoming even bigger, and causing Metro City to fall to the ground. Astro Boy learns he has rocket cannons in his arms and butt and uses them against him. The Peacekeeper is about to stop on him, but Cora saves him at the last minute. Afterwards, Astro appears dead, but... I'm going to stop there. I'll contact privately what happened to him. The very final scene in the film has what seems to be an eyeball with tentacles coming out of it, which Astro flies up toward and is about to punch, but before he makes contact, the film ends.

Well, if you're a fan of any incarnation of Astro Boy, then you probably will like this film. If you just want a film about robots fighting each other, or a father/son film or a film about the equality of robots and humans, you may also like it regardless of past familiarity with Astro Boy.