"Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel" - there, that's the only pun you need

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel is the "squeakquel" to the 2007 live-action Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. Alvin (voice of Justin Long), Simon (voice of Matthew Gray Gubler), and Theodore (voice of Jesse McCartney) are still superstars who now live happily with Dave Seville (Jason Lee), but when he is sent to the hospital, they are placed in the care of Dave's son, slacker and drop-out Toby Seville (Zachary Levi). At the request of Dave, Toby sends the Chipmunks to West Eastman High School, where they either fit in for being cute or are bullied for being small. Principal Rubin (Wendie Malick, TV's Just Shoot Me!) is a closet fan of the Chipmunks, and tells them that the school's budget is low, and there's a chance to win $25,000 for the school at a sing-off, so she enters the Chipmunks into the competition. Meanwhile, the Chipmunks' former record dealer, Ian Hawke (David Cross) is now homeless, living on the streets outside Jett Records, but vows to get his revenge on the Chipmunks... and it looks like he may be able to do just that, as a FedEx truck brings him three female chipmunks, known as the Chipettes: Brittany (voice of Christina Applegate), Jeanette (Anna Faris, The House Bunny, Observe and Report, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Scary Movie) and Eleanor (Amy Poehler, TV's Saturday Night Live, Baby Mama). The Chipettes recognize Ian as the man who made the Chipmunks famous, and want the chance to meet them. Ian takes them up on their offers, seeing it as a chance to crush the Chipmunks and to get back to where he was. But what happens when the Chipettes and the Chipmunks start to fall for each other, the Chipettes don't listen to the Chipmunks' warnings about Ian, and Alvin's popularity gets to his head and he starts fighting with Simon, much to the sadness of poor Theodore? And why does the Chipmunks' homeroom teacher, Julie Ortega (Anjelah Johnson) look so familiar to Toby?

... There really isn't much to say here. If you've seen the first film, you know what to expect. Now, I'd heard rumors that the plot is sort of a High School Musical/Glee rip-off, but I fail to see how it is. So if people sing and it involves high school, it automatically ripped off High School Musical and Glee? As a fan of both franchises, I spotted more differences than similarities. I guess maybe they were referring to Alvin getting good at sports and ditching the musical being similar to Troy from the first High School Musical, but that's completely different. In High School Musical, Troy was already skilled at basketball and he wanted to be a singer, and Sharpay and Ryan tried to eliminate the competition by telling the teacher to schedule the musical and basketball game at the same time, so they had to work together to resolve this conflict. In this case, Alvin's popularity gets to his head and he simply ditches his brothers with no question. And how in the world is this like Glee? I can't spot a single similarity outside of high school and singing/sports conflicts, but again, it's different. In Glee, the principal of the football game tries to sabotage the glee club and doesn't want it in their school. In Alvin 2, there really is no onscreen "sports principal". Anyway, back to this film... I actually cried somewhere toward the end when Theodore had to endure Simon and Alvin's bickering, and there was somewhat of an action sequence toward the end. I like the slapstick comedy they used too... don't worry, the only real pun is in the title. I'll say, it is different seeing the Chipmunks at this size interact with kids, when in the cartoon the Chipmunks were kid-size and not chipmunk-size, but on the other hand, if it's live-action, seeing kid-size chipmunks may come off as scary.

The film scored a well-deserved PG rating... I guess maybe the violence is of the most concern. At a concert in Paris, Alvin tosses his guitar over the rafters and tries to catch it, but swings on it, knocking over a bunch of things in a Rube Goldberg style of events, sending Dave flying (we don't see the impact, but we later see him in the hospital with a bruise on his face). The Chipmunks mess with the bed buttons, which move Dave around while he's injured. Dave puts the Chipmunks under the care of his Aunt Jackie (Kathryn Joosten), but Toby accidentally kicks her down two flights of stairs (again, no impact) and now she's in the hospital. During a phone call, Dave's stress monitor goes up as he yells his trademark "ALVIN!!!" Alvin, Simon, and Theodore nearly get stepped on in the hall, and during a dodgeball game, Simon and Theodore are knocked out; Alvin is seemingly knocked out, but he gets up with the ball in hand. Simon gets a "swirlie" by some kids, and Toby gets a swirlie in a flashback, as well as getting hit by dodgeballs and getting pinched (he has a "Pinch Me" sign on his back). Theodore is confronted by an eagle, who is seemingly about to eat him, but Alvin runs in and lures the eagle to him (they're okay). Eleanor tosses her mini-platform shoes at Ian, and a mini-motorcycle hits him in the crotch. Dave, still in bandages (but out of the hospital), slips on a skateboard, and we hear some crashes as the camera turns away. In a scene at the end of the closing credits, three security guards toss Ian into a dumpster. Of course, there's little in the way of sexual content, aside from some suggestive dancing by the Chipettes during a cover of Beyoncé's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)" (we don't hear any suggestive lyrics in the film). Alvin kisses a girl's finger and says something foreign... Alvin lies to David about Aunt Jackie "pole-dancing"... Alvin tells a crowd to "Shake what your mama gave you" before covering "Shake Your Groove Thing" by Peaches & Herb... not much really. Dave and Alvin are given sedatives so they can sleep, but that's the only real "drug". There's some name-calling ("fatty ratty", "taco boy", "loser", etc.).

If you liked the first film, then you'll definitely like this one. If not, then you won't.

"Did You Hear About The Morgans?"... if I try to make a joke out of this, it's going to fall flat.

Did You Hear About the Morgans? is a romantic "fish-out-of-water" comedy. Meryl Judith Morgan (Sarah Jessica Parker, Sex and the City) is a real-estate agent who is also a member of PETA. Paul Michael Morgan (Hugh Grant, Two Weeks Notice and Music and Lyrics, both of which were directed by Marc Lawrence) is a successful lawyer. This couple lives in Manhattan, but they feel their marriage is falling apart as Meryl had an affair three months ago, and they've just gotten back together. As if that weren't bad enough, they are being stalked by serial killer Vincent (Michael Kelly). Thus, they are forced to move to the town of Ray, Wyoming, where they are given the assumed names of Meryl and Paul Foster from Chicago, and are visiting their "cousins", Clay (Sam Elliot) and Emma Wheeler (Mary Steenburgen). There, they must not only adjust to small-town life but rekindle their broken relationship as well.

I can't really say I enjoyed the film much, though I wanted to see Sarah Jessica Parker as I am a fan of her Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City. However, I'm not sure if it was the film itself, or my lack of knowledge about Ray and Manhattan (the former I didn't even know existed). Though you may just need to know "Manhattan is a big rich town, and Ray is a small poor town". Another thing enticing me to see the film was the bear thing in the trailer... but don't worry, in this case, the funny part isn't just in the trailer... there's more bears where this comes from. This is my type of film, and it's a little different from most fish-out-of-water comedies because this time, they're not only dealing with a new lifestyle, they were already in trouble and have even more on their mind. Nonetheless, I can't really say how much I liked this film due to lack of knowledge of the subject matter.

The film got a PG-13 rating, but nothing really dominates in this film. As mentioned before, Vincent wields a gun and almost shoots Meryl, and they get stalked by bears in Wyoming, though Meryl accidentally sprays Paul with the bear repellent... in the eyes. Meryl mentions she slept with the man she cheated on Paul with. There's a bit of drinking, and some mild profanity (2 s-words).

I say just make it a rental unless you are a devoted fan of SJP or Hugh Grant, or have a wider knowledge of the subject matter than I do. Also, there's some audio after the credits, so stay tuned.

"Pocahontas".... just kidding, I mean "Avatar"

Avatar is the newest film from the acclaimed director of the mega-blockbuster Titanic. Jake Sully (Sam Worthington, Terminator Salvation) is a member of the RDA corporation, lead by General Parker Selfridge (Giovanni Ribsi). They are preparing to mine the moon Pandora, in search of a rare mineral known as Unobtanium. Pandora is a planet inhabited by creatures known as Na'vi. In order to stay undercover, the humans must embody "avatars" that look like the Na'vi. Despite having orders not to disturb the peace, Jake finds himself in trouble until he is saved by a female Na'vi named Neytiri (Zoe Saldana, Star Trek ('09), Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl). Neytiri believes that Jake is a "baby" for knowing little of the Na'vi practices, but she shows him the customs, as well as how to tame the wildlife. Jake and Neytiri fall in love, but the rest of the Na'vi forbid this love, as well as the army who believe Jake is turning on them and it eventually turns into a war.

So, what makes this movie so great? Is it the acting? Not exactly. Is it the dialogue? No (though coming up with a whole language is pretty impressive, but I'm referring to cliché sayings like "You are not in Kansas anymore!" as well as things like "What am I supposed to do, dance with it?" when Jake is face-to-face with a giant menacing rhino-type creature that easily overpowers him). Is it the plot? Hell no. It's the visuals. When I first saw the film, it was at a screening that was only in 2-D. Throughout the film I was amazed, wondering what each thing would look like had it been in 3-D. I decided to hold off on my review until I saw the film in 3-D, and let me tell you... this film was made for 3-D, and I mean that quite literally. Let's face it - 3-D is turning into a gimmick to make more money on ticket sales, and comparing the two different version of films like Up and Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs, I saw little to no difference, though I thought a few of the scenes looked cool. Even the remastered Toy Story wasn't all that worth it. However, this is not like those at all. James Cameron specifically made this film for 3-D, and he'd had the idea in his head for god knows how long. However, he didn't put it into effect until 1999, when the technology was available. His previous film, Titanic, is the highest-grossing film domestically and worldwide (though maybe not for much longer, and I still haven't even seen Titanic, though I'd like to) and captured the hearts of many people. So James Cameron knows what he's doing. The landscapes, the character design, the action sequences... everything about this film is beauty to the eye.

The film received a PG-13 rating, mostly due to violence. The war consists of arrows, bullets, and missiles being fired from both sides, though the army men are "protected" by their ship. Selfridge comes out in a robot suit, but is impaled by an arrow (we see a bit of blood). Jake also nearly gets injured by many creatures, notably a rhino that he "pisses off" and charges at him (he attempts to fight back, but no avail - instead, he lures out more creatures). He also tries to ride a horse-like creature, but gets thrown off its back, and almost falls off a pterodactyl-esque creature. When Jake loses control of his avatar, his avatar is shown to faint. There is implied sex between Jake and Neytiri (not seen, but Neytiri says something like "We are mated for life" and her tribe says something about forbidden mating). The Neytiri also appear to be half-naked, with parts of females' breasts visible (nothing too explicit). There's some smoking too, usually by Doctor Grace Augustine (Sigourney Weaver). There's some mild language, a few s-words and a slang for penis ("limp dick", not literal) and testicles ("I got him by the balls", not literal).

My recommendation: See it in 3-D. Quickly. Before Alice in Wonderland comes out March 5 and takes over its 3-D screens. It's doubtful it will look as great on a TV screen.

"Invictus"... just forget it, it's not worth making a joke out of

Invictus is a biopic about Nelson Mandela (Morgan Freeman)'s life during the 1995 Rugby World Cup in South Africa, derived from the book Playing the Enemy: Nelson Mandela and the Game That Changed a Nation (re-released as Invictus: Nelson Mandela and the Game That Changed a Nation). Nelson Mandela has just been elected president of South Africa, and aims to "balance black aspirations with white fears". Since South Africa is holding the Rugby World Cup, he sees this to his advantage, and supports Captain François Pienaar (Matt Damon) of the Springboks (South Africa's rugby team), believing that if they win, then blacks and whites will be united.

... Did that make sense to anyone else? It made very little sense to me. There is so much more this film could have done, as much of Mandela's time in office was glossed over, and the last half of the film was a rugby game that did not explain at all how it is played. That aside, it was a great film, quite possibly my second favorite of the year (behind The Princess and the Frog). Nelson Mandela gave some great speeches, and the soundtrack was one of the best. Director Clint Eastwood chose a South African group known as "Overtone" to do the tracks. And I must admit, despite not knowing a thing about rugby, I was still rooting for the Springboks to win. I'm now rooting for either Morgan Freeman or Matt Damon to win an Oscar. Now, this isn't the first sports drama we had this year... The Blind Side, anyone? I feel this edges over The Blind Side because it seemed less exaggerated for artistic purposes, and even though the last half of the film was a rugby game, it was seen coming and took up less of the film's running time.

The film got a PG-13 rating, but there was very little that actually happened to get the film's rating that high - just the intensity. The Springbok team jacket has a symbol for Lion Lager on it, and that kind of beverage is consumed at various times. At one party, they each have a sip from a beer can, but then toss their cans and say "This tastes like s**t!" As for violence, there's basic rugby tackling, and some rioting with a dead body on the street. The only sexual things I could find were Mandela dancing with a woman who wears a low-cut cleavage-bearing top, and François' wife kissing him despite his objections, but he joins in and they fall on the bed (the scene ends there).

If you're interested in the subject matter, sports dramas, rugby, or a huge fan of Morgan Freeman, Matt Damon, director Clint Eastwood, or the South African vocal group Overtone, definitely see it. Otherwise, just make it a rental.

"Transylmania" - Good parody, bad movie

Transylmania is a vampire spoof film, the sequel to 2006's National Lampoon's Dorm Daze 2. Rusty (Oren Skoog) has just been accepted into Razvan University, where he hopes to meet his online girlfriend, Draguta (Irena A. Hoffman). He travels there with his friends Pete (Patrick Cavanaugh) and Wang (Paul Hansen Kim), as well as Danni (Nicole Garza) who is up for adventure and her sister Lia (Natalie Garza) who doesn't like taking risks and doesn't really agree to everything. They also bring along a few subplots... er, roommates, such as Newmar (Tony Denman) and Lynne (Jennifer Lyons), who wish to try a new sex life, and Mike (Patrick Casey), who often mistakes men for women. Unbeknownst (though blatantly described) to them, Razvan U is overrun by vampires, namely Count Radu (also Oren Skoog). Rusty, however, has problems of his own when he finds Draguta is a hunchback - he is disgusted by this so he disguises as a vampire to escape her, and ends up looking like Radu. Radu himself is trying to resurrect the spirit of his dead lover by using a music box, when her spirit gets trapped in Lynne's body! Will Rusty learn to accept Draguta? Will Radu resurrect his lover? And what happens when Newmar discovers Radu making out with "Lynne" and thinks it's Rusty? In another subplot, Draguta's midget father Dean Floca (David Steinberg) was happy for Draguta having found a boyfriend, and wants to give her a new body so Rusty will find her appealing.

So... uh, anyone have any idea who these stars are? Good, because I'm completely lost when it comes to them. Anyway, when I saw the trailer, I was actually expecting a parody of more recent vampire-based media such as Twilight, True Blood, and The Vampire Diaries. This seems to riff on the old stuff such as Frankenstein and Dracula (though I've never actually seen True Blood or The Vampire Diaries so if they made any references I wouldn't know). I had heard terrible things about this film, and while it is a terrible film, I think it is a good parody - the references aren't that blatant and it doesn't try too hard to be a parody. However, it's not really a good movie - other than the references it's not that funny, it can be really gross, and the gags have been done to death (such as the mistaken identity gag).

The film got an R rating... I don't even know where to begin. In one of the first scenes, Rusty mentions wanting to have sex with Draguta, and he slams the laptop on his penis (we see semen on it later). There are sex dolls seen with bare breasts and everything. Newmar and Lynne try out a book of sexual positions - we see drawn naked bodies, but when they try it out they are obscured by blankets, though we hear discussion of it. Strippers are seen with bare breasts (one of the guys touches one of them). One of the professors, Teodora van Sloan (Musetta Vander) wears a low-cut cleavage-bearing top. Now onto the violence... Teodora teaches the students how to effectively use weapons against vampires. Cliff gets pinned to a bench by an arrow, and Rusty pulls it out. Cliff is in more pain, asking Rusty to put it back in, but he puts it in through the other leg (bloody results). Floca plans to steal Lia's body to give it to Draguta, and we see her body in a Frankenstein-esque lab - all of her joints are stitched. Later on, they all fall apart. Several people vomit at this sight, and while changing buckets (which are apparently full), Danni vomits at the previous vomit. There is a lot of pot-smoking; so much I won't even begin to describe. There's a fair amount of cursing too.

This is probably better off as a rental if you want a vampire parody.

"Fantastic Mr. Fox" - beautifully animated, but not beautifully adapted

Fantastic Mr. Fox is a stop-motion animated adaptation of the 1970 children's book of the same title by author Roald Dahl (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach, etc.). Mr. Fox (George Clooney) and his wife Felicity Fox (Meryl Streep) used to steal chickens for a living, but after being captured, they changed their minds. Two years later, Mr. Fox works for a local newspaper, and Mrs. Fox has given birth to their first kid, Ash Fox (Jason Schwartzman). Mr. Fox, however, decides to return to his livestock-stealing ways, and enlists the help of Ash, his cousin Kristofferson Silverfox (Eric Chase Anderson) and Clive Badger (Bill Murray) to raid the chickens of Walter Boggis (Robin Hurlstone), the ducks and geese of Nathan Bunce (Hugo Guinness), and the turkeys of Franklin Bean (Michael Gambon). But it's not as easy as it sounds, as Rat (Willem Dafoe) is set up to guard it all.

I'm generally easy to please, and when I look at something, I tend not to judge it based on comparison to other media, regardless of whether that be something similar that supposedly "did it better" or some cliché. Unfortunately, I can't say the same in this case - I was somewhat disappointed by this film. I've read the book on which it was based, and the film took away the book's main charm. What made the book so appealing to me in the first place was the fact that Mr. Fox stole the livestock to feed his family and would not give up even when the odds were against him. The film seems to ruin that entire point, with little explanation - it makes it seem at first that Mr. Fox is stealing livestock for money, though later he is seen putting them in his pantry, so maybe he is doing it to feed his family. Also, they glossed over the whole purpose of Mr. Fox's return to stealing livestock. It's not a bad film, it had its funny moments and the animation is spectacular, but I have to say it just doesn't live up to the book.

The film received a well-deserved PG rating, mainly for weaponry and violence that the farmers attempt to use to subdue Mr. Fox: guns, switchblades, and construction material used to dig up Mr. Fox's home. Mr. Fox often uses the word "cuss" ("What the cuss?", "Cluster-cuss") in place of swear words. Bean makes alcoholic cider, and sometimes the farmers smoke. Being a film about animals, there's really nothing sexual.

If you want to enjoy the animation to its fullest extent, see it on the big screen. Otherwise, I just say make it a rental.

"Planet 51" - a new take on the alien invasion film

Planet 51 is a CGI film. On the titular planet is a race of aliens with a lifestyle that is as similar to ours as it is different (they have four fingers, but they speak English, for instance). One of the inhabitants, Lem (Justin Long), works at the local planetarium part-time, but plans to work full-time upon graduation. Lem believes that the universe is smaller than it really is. One day, an astronaut from Earth named Charles "Chuck" T. Baker (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) lands on Planet 51, unaware of the life on it. To the "aliens" there, Charles is now considered an "alien" and some of the inhabitants are after him. Chuck enlists the help of Lem to escape captivity and to prove his innocence. In a subplot, Lem has fallen for his neighbor Neera (Jessica Biel), but a hippie alien named Glar (Alan Marriott) also loves her. Neera starts to question Lem's views on alien life as he says something that makes him seem like he's against it. Another subplot involves one alien growing attached to Chuck's probe, Rover (also Justin Long).

I know this has been done before, but never like this. I mean, if the other films are how humans react to aliens on their planet, how do you think aliens would react to humans? Now, granted, this has been done earlier this year with Battle for Terra, but that was a sci-fi action flick. This is more of a comedy. Also, he seems to just be exploring, not trying to take over the planet (though he is accused of the latter). I also liked some of the pop-culture references and jokes (see the MPAA section) that may go over kids' heads, Glar's "Stick it to the Man" song was pretty funny (heck, Glar himself made most of the film), and "The Rock" is near unrecognizable.

The film scored a PG rating. The aliens chase Chuck with weapons trying to subdue him, and some other slapstick material is present. In one scene, an army of aliens talk about who will shoot who in case of betrayal. Chuck pretends to zombify some aliens (sometimes as playing, sometimes to scare away a crowd). There is some minor sexual stuff... for instance, a probe named Rover (also Justin Long) "urinates" oil, and an alien "dog" has acidic urine. An alien wears a V-neck top that reveals cleavage, and another alien looks there when the female alien says "Look at the sky", and Chuck is seen in nothing but a towel as aliens try to dissect him. He gets up and takes his towel off (we don't see anything, but an alien does) and one of the aliens says, "That's a funny place for his antenna!" After Chuck lands, he steps on a rubber ducky and says, "What the... duck?"

Well, if you're interested in a comedy film that uses alien clichés in reverse, or just something that tells the truth about paranoia, then this is your film! And stay tuned a little into the credits for another scene.

"A Christmas Carol" - same old story, but visually stunning

A Christmas Carol is a remake of Charles Dickens' classic story from 1843... you know, there's no need to describe the plot, it's pretty much the same as any adaptation. However, I'll give the voices of the key characters: Jim Carrey voices Ebeneezer Scrooge and the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet To Come. Gary Oldman voices Jacob Marley, Bob Cratchit, and Tiny Tim. Robin Wright Penn voices Belle.

There's really nothing new in this adaptation - my favorite adaptation of the story is still The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992). However, I feel the visuals were stunning, especially in 3-D. The animation is like nothing I've seen before - I heard that they actually filmed the actors' faces and digitally added them onto the characters. Parts of it seem like a roller coaster, as the camera swiftly moves during some of the Ghosts' visions. Another thing I liked was the background music, and it's rare for me to even pay attention to background music that has no lyrics.

The film got a PG rating, and it really deserved it IMO. This adaptation can be very creepy, and the ghosts can be a bit startling. As mentioned before, it is like a roller coaster, namely once scene where Scrooge covers a ghost with what looks like a horn, and is blasted off into the sky. Some women show cleavage, and during a game of scharades (sp?), someone guesses, "Is it an ass?" and the answer is "Yes and no" (saying it's not a donkey, it's Scrooge).

Unfortunately, I got to this review a little late - most of the 3-D showings are gone thanks to Avatar. That pretty much was the best way to see it, but hopefully it will be in 3-D on DVD. That's probably the best way to see it, and to some, the only way.