Transylmania is a vampire spoof film, the sequel to 2006's National Lampoon's Dorm Daze 2. Rusty (Oren Skoog) has just been accepted into Razvan University, where he hopes to meet his online girlfriend, Draguta (Irena A. Hoffman). He travels there with his friends Pete (Patrick Cavanaugh) and Wang (Paul Hansen Kim), as well as Danni (Nicole Garza) who is up for adventure and her sister Lia (Natalie Garza) who doesn't like taking risks and doesn't really agree to everything. They also bring along a few subplots... er, roommates, such as Newmar (Tony Denman) and Lynne (Jennifer Lyons), who wish to try a new sex life, and Mike (Patrick Casey), who often mistakes men for women. Unbeknownst (though blatantly described) to them, Razvan U is overrun by vampires, namely Count Radu (also Oren Skoog). Rusty, however, has problems of his own when he finds Draguta is a hunchback - he is disgusted by this so he disguises as a vampire to escape her, and ends up looking like Radu. Radu himself is trying to resurrect the spirit of his dead lover by using a music box, when her spirit gets trapped in Lynne's body! Will Rusty learn to accept Draguta? Will Radu resurrect his lover? And what happens when Newmar discovers Radu making out with "Lynne" and thinks it's Rusty? In another subplot, Draguta's midget father Dean Floca (David Steinberg) was happy for Draguta having found a boyfriend, and wants to give her a new body so Rusty will find her appealing.
So... uh, anyone have any idea who these stars are? Good, because I'm completely lost when it comes to them. Anyway, when I saw the trailer, I was actually expecting a parody of more recent vampire-based media such as Twilight, True Blood, and The Vampire Diaries. This seems to riff on the old stuff such as Frankenstein and Dracula (though I've never actually seen True Blood or The Vampire Diaries so if they made any references I wouldn't know). I had heard terrible things about this film, and while it is a terrible film, I think it is a good parody - the references aren't that blatant and it doesn't try too hard to be a parody. However, it's not really a good movie - other than the references it's not that funny, it can be really gross, and the gags have been done to death (such as the mistaken identity gag).
The film got an R rating... I don't even know where to begin. In one of the first scenes, Rusty mentions wanting to have sex with Draguta, and he slams the laptop on his penis (we see semen on it later). There are sex dolls seen with bare breasts and everything. Newmar and Lynne try out a book of sexual positions - we see drawn naked bodies, but when they try it out they are obscured by blankets, though we hear discussion of it. Strippers are seen with bare breasts (one of the guys touches one of them). One of the professors, Teodora van Sloan (Musetta Vander) wears a low-cut cleavage-bearing top. Now onto the violence... Teodora teaches the students how to effectively use weapons against vampires. Cliff gets pinned to a bench by an arrow, and Rusty pulls it out. Cliff is in more pain, asking Rusty to put it back in, but he puts it in through the other leg (bloody results). Floca plans to steal Lia's body to give it to Draguta, and we see her body in a Frankenstein-esque lab - all of her joints are stitched. Later on, they all fall apart. Several people vomit at this sight, and while changing buckets (which are apparently full), Danni vomits at the previous vomit. There is a lot of pot-smoking; so much I won't even begin to describe. There's a fair amount of cursing too.
The film got an R rating... I don't even know where to begin. In one of the first scenes, Rusty mentions wanting to have sex with Draguta, and he slams the laptop on his penis (we see semen on it later). There are sex dolls seen with bare breasts and everything. Newmar and Lynne try out a book of sexual positions - we see drawn naked bodies, but when they try it out they are obscured by blankets, though we hear discussion of it. Strippers are seen with bare breasts (one of the guys touches one of them). One of the professors, Teodora van Sloan (Musetta Vander) wears a low-cut cleavage-bearing top. Now onto the violence... Teodora teaches the students how to effectively use weapons against vampires. Cliff gets pinned to a bench by an arrow, and Rusty pulls it out. Cliff is in more pain, asking Rusty to put it back in, but he puts it in through the other leg (bloody results). Floca plans to steal Lia's body to give it to Draguta, and we see her body in a Frankenstein-esque lab - all of her joints are stitched. Later on, they all fall apart. Several people vomit at this sight, and while changing buckets (which are apparently full), Danni vomits at the previous vomit. There is a lot of pot-smoking; so much I won't even begin to describe. There's a fair amount of cursing too.
This is probably better off as a rental if you want a vampire parody.
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